Henry's Blog

JULY 2011

2011-10-25T23:27:00.001-07:00

JUNE 2011

2011-10-25T22:40:00.000-07:00

MAY 2011

2011-10-25T21:16:00.001-07:00

APRIL 2011

2011-10-14T23:22:00.000-07:00

Life with Henry has turned that corner where extreme patience is constantly being tested and adjusted. I've been finding some solace in reading "Playful Parenting" by Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, and it's helped me channel some of that overflowing cup of energy Henry has been exhibiting. In general, I'm coming to a deeper understanding for his need for physical play, and as a result it's been bringing us closer. We've been embracing his love of weapon play, by simply turning it around in a positive way, and not making it such a taboo. At this age, they're really trying to figure out their own sense of power, control and this idea of good vs. evil, so when Henry comes over and "blasts" us, we can counter with, "ahhh! You got me with your love blaster. Now I need to hug you!" To suppress these urges, or to make him feel bad about wanting to express this need for power or violence, I think would isolate him and invalidate his feelings. So many times, I used to think, "He's so obsessed with guns, I need to downplay this or figure out another way around the subject". Now, it's quite the opposite, and in fact, the more I encourage it, the less "obsessed" he seems to be focused on it, because the playful approach always seems to balance it all out.

Also games like monster and simple wrestling, lets him test out his strength and boundaries, in such a way that he feels safe and is able to express and release energy or his pent up frustration. In some ways, I consider myself his preferred "sparring partner" that he comes to, instead of leashing out on other kids, or at the very least, he's had some practice at how to fit this kind of play within certain boundaries.

Something as simple as wrapping my arms around him in a playful gridlock, saying "I'm not going to let you go, you'll never escape me!" When I slowly release my grip, he's delighted that he's escaped, and keeps coming back for more. Sometimes he'll tell me "how" he wants the rules to go, such as, "squeeze me tighter" or "say you won't let me go". It's interesting how he wants to create the dialogue and scenarios with me, so I just follow his lead, let him be the writer and director. Therein lies a deeper level of respect. If things get too rough, or an accident occurs, we simple take a time out to take stock and adjust from there. I just love this simple give and take where we both communicate and understand the rules of play and are engaged enough to keep it fun. It floors me that now when he mentions that he wants to watch a video, I can simply say, "Hey, can we play monster instead?" And it almost always is a unanimous, "Yes!"

MARCH 2011

2011-10-14T22:52:00.000-07:00

Fave Videos...

-The Yellow Submarine (1968)
-The Point (1972)
-Free To Be, You And Me (1974)
-Toy Story 2 (1999)

Fave Books...

-The BFG by Roald Dahl (audio book) performed by Natasha Richardson
-The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery; Adapted by Joann Sfar
-Baloney (Henry P.) by Jon Sciescka / Artwork by Lane Smith
-Yellow Submarine Adapted by Charlie Gardner / Artwork by Heinz Edelmann
-Charlie And Lola; I Completely Know About Guinea Pigs by Lauren Child
-Moomin: The Complete Tove Jansson Comic Strip by Tove Jansson
-The Funny Thing by Wanda G'ag
-Rolie Polie Olie by William Joyce

3.1.11

Yesterday we went to Danny's Warehouse to look for some tap and ballet shoes for Henry. He was so cute trying on all the different pairs of shoes, and the sales girls there adored him. I really think Henry is going to like his dance class. I can't wait to see him get his ballet groove on.

We later headed over to Ikea and finally bit the bullet on purchasing an Expidit shelf unit for Henry's room, swapping out the piano into the living room. I was really nervous about moving the piano by ourselves, since the legs are so spindly, but Nicole and I managed. I know Nicole isn't completely thrilled with the move, but I think it looks great in its new spot, and Henry's room just seems to breathe more. The living room definitely needs some work and feels a bit in process at the moment, but I know we'll get it in shape once we find the right accent pieces. I'm trying to minimize my visual clutter in the dining room, and just make things more accessible, yet tidy. Ramping up for my Art Class which starts next WED, I need to really kick in gear with my prep and up my game with some handouts.

Henry is now 4 days in a row pooping on the potty, but I feel we need to pull back on the movie reward. It's feeling a bit excessive, and I'm afraid of getting into this cycle of false reward over personal achievement. I think we'll give him the privilege to watch movies twice a week for the next couple of weeks, regardless of whether he poops or not, and then scale back to once a week for the remaining two weeks. Nicole and I were also exploring the idea of having a TV free month in April, and just literally putting it in the garage, just as an experiment to encourage us all to focus on other things in its absence. More so for Nicole and I, since most of our free time is spent just sitting in front of the TV at night, when we could be hanging out, talking, planning meals, reading, or maybe even integrate some family game time. I would be psyched if we had no TV at all to be frank, but I know Henry really enjoys his videos from time to time. But maybe this experiment will give us a gauge of where we can go from here.

Today Henry had gym class, and coach Scott said he did great. All the parents have been waiting outside class since it was beginning to cause some distractions. I really value the fact that he's listening and taking direction from someone other than me or Nicole, and I want Henry to continue with that kind of discipline. After wards we headed to Kidspace with his friend Liam, from the gym class, and his mom Kelly. Spent
the rest of the day there and made it home by 5pm, just enough time to get dinner ready and Henry to bed by 6:30pm. Since he had been up late two nights before (last night Henry stayed up and watched the Oscars with us) I wanted him to catch up on his sleep. Surprisingly he wanted to go straight to bed with lights out, no books, and wanted to listen to BFG by Roald Dahl on audio book. I also think he's excited by the new table lamp that's on his dresser by his bedside, that he can turn on and off by himself with the pull string. I'm not sure if he's quite understanding what's being described in the book, but it seems that it's got his interest. This is his first chapter book he's listened to thus far, beyond the short stories that have lasted anywhere from 5-20 minutes in length, so I'm curious to see how this pans out over time and see what he actually takes in.

3.6.11

Yesterday Henry went to his second dance class. He was really shy going into the ballet portion, but once they started doing tap, he was totally on board. He had been feeling a bit under the weather these past few days, so I should have seen the signs when I took him out for lunch at Mix and Munch. he wouldn't eat anything, and I thought he was just being a picky eater. I kept trying to get him to eat some peanut butter and jelly with bananas, and after taking a few mouthfuls, he just throw it all up. I felt horrible, because I was literally crouching there next to him force feeding him, and I should have realized that he wasn't chewing it all up.

We went next store really quick, because he had been asking about Space Ghost that was at this used bookstore he had seen the week before. The owner there remembered us, and said that we could buy the Space Ghost if we wanted it. Henry was on cloud nine, and it gave us a good exit strategy so we could take him home to rest. He slept on the way home.

When he woke up, we listened to the BFG and hung out in his room for a bit. I also tried out the bean bags and target sheet I've been planning for my Art Class. I made it from the paper body trace we made a couple of days ago, but the real one for class will be from an actual bed sheet.

As we were getting ready for bed last night, were we both washing our hands and he said, "Darth Vader's hands get really black so he needs to wash them off. Then when he repaints them black, he's the real Darth Vader."

3.16.11

These last two weeks have flown by. Two weekends ago, basically the SUN after Henry's 2nd dance class (where he threw up), Nicole caught the bug and then that night, passed it to me. We were both nauseous and it wasn't until Tues morning that we started feeling fine. Just in time too, because my first MAKE ART Class of the spring session was that following WED. I was still dragging a cold, with congested head, and sore throat, but finally it lifted by that following weekend. We have since had 2 MAKE ART classes, both have gone well.

One new development I've been noticing about Henry this past month or so, is this new fascination with shadows and reflections. The latter of which, has become a bit of a morning ritual, where he stands on the couch in the living room, and checks himself out in the mirror. Sometimes looking at his profile as he jumps on the couch. I often catch him checking himself in reflections as well when we're out and about, like when I'm opening the car door or when we walk past store front windows. He also is interested in his shadow, and looks for it whenever we're out, and remarks about how we're passing in and out of a shadow in the car when we're on a street where the buildings have created shade. "Daddy, it gets much darker in the shade". He also notices the change in light, when we're sitting inside, when a cloud passes over the sun momentarily.

Our first MAKE ART project involved body tracing, but I think to take it one step further, I bet some explorations of shadow tracing would be interesting for Henry as well. I'm happy that he's been more engaged this time around with my art classes, because in the recent past, when I was doing double duty at Peekaboo and at the park, I feel he was really acting out and having a hard time not being able to get my undivided attention. Plus, teaching art in a playspace I think had way too many challenges beyond my control. But even within my own art classes, I'm always striving to make it more professional and focus in on ways to improve.

FEB 2011

2011-10-14T22:24:00.001-07:00

2.17.11

It occurred to me tonight, that after all these years of not actually "blogging" my thoughts, this blog has basically just become a depository of photos, which I have kept up very sporadically, often times catching up after months of neglect.

I want to reserve these private moments, mostly about family, to this blog. I want this to be a place where my thoughts can rest, and one day, Henry can look back through all this and see a progression through his life and our family.

One of my new year's resolutions (which I think are usually arbitrary anyways) was to journal my everyday thoughts, as brief as they may be, that way I catch more of an accurate view of day to day life, instead of paraphrasing whole months that have gone by, missing all the small details.

Morning started as it usually does, Nicole and I in bed, half groggy from sleep, around 7am, with Henry bounding in, rearing to start the day. Sometimes he has slept there from the night before, so he could have been playing off in his room for a while before he checks in and starts asking about either a) watching a video (which is almost always "no" from us) or b) wanting breakfast, our staple being oatmeal.

This past month has been all about potty training, so our new rule is if he "pees" in the potty, he gets to watch 1 short episode of a cartoon, which is usually Curious George, since they clock in around 20 mins long. If he "poops" in the potty, which has only happened twice so far, he gets to watch his newest fave movie being "The Yellow Submarine". He's seen the film a few times, and I got him a bit hooked on the action figures, which he talks to endlessly throughout the day. He knows all the characters and the Beatles by name.

I'm slowly trying to give up carbs and sugar, but had a slight weak moment at Porto's this morning with Henry and Nicole, gave in to a chicken empanada and a few bites of Nicole's Cubano sandwich. I packed a lunch for later, some left over cauliflower curry and brown rice. Kind of freaked out, because I've been getting blisters again on my feet, which Nicole says can be a first sign of the beginning stages of Diabetes, which has cropped up over the past few years. I've been limping around from blister I drained and is another reminder that I need to turn things around. Getting back into morning or night walks, maybe even starting more cardio workouts like jump rope, get rid of this gut weighing on my heart.

Today we went to Brand Park to meet up with the Face LA home schooling group. Still on the path to figure out where to go from here, and seek out like minded parents who are looking for alternatives to preschools. Nicole didn't have to work until 3, so she came to the park as well. Our friend Lindsey and her two twin boys were there, and Henry spent most of his time getting soaked in the sandbox, shuttling buckets of water to make rivers.

Henry and I got home, made some banana bread together (took an hour to bake), I did the dishes and made dinner (while Henry watched some episodes of Curious George). For dinner, had salmon, green beans and quinoa, with banana bread for dessert. Henry had an accident so I just changed him for bed. Otherwise, we'd try to get him to go to the potty before bed. Had dinner at 6:30, started bedtime around 7. Bedtime routine: go to potty, wash hands, brush teeth, get dressed for bed, read stories, lights out (with night light on). After the lights go out, I've been reading to myself either in bed or in the chair with my reading light. A little while back, I polished off my first novel in a while, "This Much I Know is True" by Wally Lamb, and now I'm working through music bios. Just finished the Elliott Smith book by Autumn DeWilde, and now I'm on to the Wilco Book.

2.22.11

Just enjoyed a three day weekend with Nicole and Henry. In the interim few interesting Art projects have spontaneously occurred at our house lately. Henry and I made a wind chime out of some kid size pots and pans, which he enjoys whacking with his plastic vacuum hose attachment, which he calls his "sword". Since the neighbors were away for the weekend, we took advantage of making some noise, playing piano, and building a ping pong table out of some paper lunch bags, Popsicle sticks, cardboard and Pyrex lids, inspired by the Backyardigans episode, "Blazing Paddles". I lined the sides of the table with the lunch bags, open long wise and reinforced by Popsicle sticks, to form a barrier to keep the ping pong contained. We didn't have any actual ping pongs, so we used a plastic round boulder, which became pretty noisy. Nicole even got in on the game, Henry had a blast.

One of Henry's newest traits is "scripting" things for me, feeding me dialogue, or he loves to correct us at the dinner table, saying things like "Say, 'you're welcome Henry'". We're almost a month into potty training, and it's going pretty well, steady as she goes. I think he's really made progress on peeing and not having as many accidents. Pooping is still an issue, but that's normal. We made a book together a while back called, "Henry goes poop on the potty". We sat down in one sitting and I wrote it out as he dictated the story to me, with my guidance so we touched on all the key points, as I scribbled some really badly drawn illustrations to go with it. Then we both colored it in together. It starts out, which was totally Henry's words, "Once upon a time, a boy woke up and his name was Henry". In the end, he goes poop on the potty, and our big reward that we've been promising him, is that he can watch the Yellow Submarine movie.

Today was gym day (Tuesdays) and this is the second week where all the parents have waited outside as suggested by coach Scott. Having us all in the gym during class just proved too much a distraction, so this has worked out towards getting Henry and the other boys more focused on listening and trying during Gym class, and steering it away from the unfocused playtime that was happening. I really value the fact that Henry is listening to someone else other than me or Nicole, and getting a new experience that I can't give him. I'm also signing him up for an Art class at the Amory which I'm really excited about in April. Sometimes I feel my Art classes are doing him a bit of a disservice, because I have to divide so much of my attention between Henry and the other students, which I think is hard for him to understand, and usually acts out to get back my attention. I just try to make each class a positive experience, and not turn him off. Hopefully, being a student with another instructor, will be a welcome change. We certainly do art around the house, but I know I'm guilty of not having as much patience with Henry as I do with my students, probably out of my own sense of perfectionism.

I try to really keep that in check, as I do with any sort of anger that builds up in me when I get close to a short fuse. It sucks that I'm still working through past crap in my own upbringing, so I'm constantly trying to evaluate what I'm doing, maybe too much so, because I'm really sensitive to bad parenting, especially since I have such horrible blueprints to follow. When Nicole or I yell at Henry or get upset in front of him, it just gets to my core, and really upsets me. Growing up in a family that constantly yelled at each other, I just want us to take a few steps back before we explode sometimes, but it's easier said than done, owing to the pressures Nicole and I feel, and the roles we take on.

This weekend we talked to our friends Brooke and Dave who live out in Canada with their 3 children, with 1 more on the way. Got us thinking more about homeschooling, which apparently I've already been doing, but also the long term results they've experienced, their oldest being 7 years old. They practice "Enki", which uses parts of the Waldorf school of thought.

Today I also dropped off a few of my recycled Birdhouse kits to Green Bean. We'll see how they do, priced retail at $120 each (I got $5). Traci, the owner, and I, discussed plans to set up a MAKE ART class in the back patio, so it's just a matter of waiting until she gets at least 6 students interested in taking the series. My classes start in a couple of weeks, so I'm eager to see how Henry reacts this time around. I'm hoping Jenny, our neighbor, will be available to take the class with Henry, it really helps me out and gives him someone to mentor with during the class. He already enjoys her company, so it's a great match.

2.23.11

Spent most of the day at Nibley with some friends for our regular WED meetup. Kind of an on/off cold day, warmed up by some chi tea latte. Later on, we decided to go to the library, I had "The Point" on hold, and I wanted to watch it with him later when we got home. He asked me to hold him on the way in, then he put his arms around me, gave me a big hug and said "I feel safe with you", followed by a tender "I love you daddy". I think I just melted on the spot. It doesn't get any better than this.

After watching "The Point", which he seemed to enjoy, I decided to try out a weaving craft I had been thinking about. It involved joining together to pieces of cut paper bags in the shape of an arrow with some string, pulling some yarn through punched holes. Henry really dug it, and we stuffed it with some shredded paper, making it cushy like a pillow.

Later that night, more tossing and turning about homeschooling vs. preschool. Heavy discussions with Nicole, we're both on the same page in that we're still on the fence, looking for some clarity which way to go. Trying to fight the good fight for the unconventional, non-conformist, but at what cost? We're still trying to figure out our next move and what stance we should take.

2.24.11

Today Henry and his friends Seth & Kyle met up at the Coop in Studio City. Pretty cool space and lay out, although a bit small and not as dense with stuff as most play spaces, but regardless Henry seemed to have fun and we lasted there almost 4 hours. There was a huge ball pit and a rope climbing structure attached to a slide that he kept doing the rounds on. The outside patio was nice to hang out and have snacks, although it was a bit chilly and overcast, and unfortunately there was no way to close doors between the patio and inside area, so all the cold air kept blowing in. On top of that, the cement floors were cold with only socks on. If it was a sunnier day, it would have been perfect, but still enjoyable none the less. They had a coffee bar, a big draw, which was a plus.

Henry crashed on the ride home, slept for almost 3 hours, got up briefly to eat dinner, and then went to bed again! He must have been tired!

2.26.11

Today was a pretty stellar day. Henry and I went to try out a ballet/tap class at the Pasadena YMCA, along with his friend Scarlett. I was running a bit late, and got a bit lost getting there, so I mumbled some curse words under my breath, which Henry caught up pretty quickly. Correcting me with, "Daddy, that's not a nice word". Right at the start of class, one of the students started freaking out and crying, and the parent would not take the hint and kept trying to make her stay. Henry looked a bit shaken and concerned, almost to the point of wanting to leave, but he warmed up once the student was out of ear shot (who was still freaking out in the hallway while her mom kept telling her to stop crying, trying to coax her back in) He was pretty much mesmerized by Miss Donna, and stood riveted to the spot, taking it all in. At one point, I saw him bend his leg back and forth once, but that was it. After class he seemed interested enough to try it again. I think he was just processing all the new music and dance moves.

We then had lunch with Scarlett and her mom Annie at the Mix and Munch in Pasadena. I ordered a peanut butter jam and banana sandwich to split, but he seemed more into the side of tater tots. After that, we checked out a bookstore next door, and found some really cool books; "Baloney (Henry P.)", "The Funny Thing" & "Roly Poly Olie". Henry also latched onto a Space Ghost action figure, which I am now determined to find on Ebay (once I clear it with Nicole).

Next was the smog check for Nicole's car we had been waiting for all month. Long story, but we had a lot of hoops to jumps through getting the repairs indicated by the "check engine light", including 4 trips to the salvage yards looking for a hose. Henry got to watch the smog test, which only took 10 mins, and we passed!

Then it was on to Nibley for a quick run around. A parent there said it had been snowing up in Montrose that afternoon! That would have been cool to see.

When we got home, Henry plunked down and read his books we had purchased from the bookstore along to some classical music while I made dinner, which was Pork chops caramelized in walnuts and raisins, baked summer squash and asparagus. It one point as we were finishing up dinner (and he didn't eat all that much) he started hiding under the table and giving me that look, which usually meant he was about to or in the process of having an accident. I whisked him off to the bathroom, but he had already peed his pants. I put him on the toilet anyways just in case, and then he said, "I feel poop!" which is a huge deal! And sure enough he went, not once, but twice! We had been promising him his reward for pooping on the potty, which was to watch the Yellow Submarine, for the entire last week, so his day had finally come.

The night before, he had been obsessed with the scene from the movie where Frankenstein drinks the potion and turns into John, at the beginning where they introduce all the Beatle characters. He had taken a bulb from a turkey baster and a toilet paper roll, which he kept "pouring" one into the other, offering us a drink of his "potion", which we were instructed to drink and say "RAARRR!" He even woke up this morning and started in on the potion routine. It's amazing how certain details really resonate with him.

2.27.1

A bit of an unusual day. Henry did ANOTHER poop, this time around 10am! So we held our end of the bargain, and he got to watch the Yellow Submarine again. A new snack that I created a little while back, is a variation on "ants on a log", raisins and peanut butter on a celery stick. One day, I came across this idea to put raisins in his avocado, scooped straight out of the peel, and called it "ants on the grass". Henry totally went through a staggering 3/4 of a whole avocado! Can't complain.

Today I decided to check out a sound/noise jam over at the Eagle Rock Center for the Arts with Henry. I packed up my speaker, cords & equipment and stuffed them all in a single suitcase. Man, that was heavy! Pretty weird, really low key, but I think Henry enjoyed it. There were literally 3 people there, and one of the sound artists, Roz, let Henry try out some of her bells, thumb piano and toy accordion. I caught a bunch on video, as I scrambled to keep up and get in a little noise making with my Zaptrak. We even tapped into this piano that was there, and Henry made some cool sounds hitting it against the strings as I manipulated it through my delay & Zaptrak. I was a bit rusty, and I think there were some faulty cords that kept messing up my signal flow, but once I figured it out, I got in some fun sounds and we had some moments of cool flow where it seemed to be gelling. We definitely got in just enough without overdoing it. We thanked the other musicians, and they all seemed happy to have had Henry there, breaking up the dynamics. I think if I do it next time I'll have more hands on, percussive instruments for him to wail on. I kind of liked the push and pull of Henry getting involved as I fought against the technical difficulties, and worked with what he gave me from his participation. It was a cool experiment for sure.

After that, I packed up my suitcase, did some grocery shopping, and made it home in time to clean up the dishes and make dinner. I was only making sides (brown rice and corn bread) because thankfully Nicole had filled the crock pot that morning with beans and pork. We all watched the Oscars together, and by the time it was over, Henry just melted into bed. A day well spent!

JAN 2011

2011-05-14T23:02:00.001-07:00

DEC 2010

2011-04-24T23:44:00.001-07:00

NOV 2010

2010-12-30T17:04:00.001-08:00

OCT 2010

2010-11-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

SEPT 2010

2010-11-08T00:10:00.000-08:00

AUGUST 2010

2010-09-02T00:55:00.001-07:00

JULY 2010

2010-08-25T21:00:00.001-07:00

JUNE 2010

2010-07-15T01:13:00.001-07:00

MAY 2010

2010-07-05T21:44:00.001-07:00

APRIL 2010

2010-06-30T16:51:00.001-07:00

Harbor Cruise, Long Beach

Art Class, Brand Library